Saying No: The Hardest Skill in Running a Small Business
Learning to Say No (Without Becoming the Villain)
This is one of those posts I probably should not write.
If you are running a small business, especially online, you have probably had this conversation in your head already. I know I have. Usually it happens on the drive home from a Facebook Marketplace sale meetup.
The listing goes up with good intentions. Someone messages asking if you can knock a little off the price. Or if you can meet up in person, which usually means I come to them. Or if you can drive “just 20–30 minutes” because we are supposedly “meeting in the middle.”
At first, I say yes. I usually want to say yes.
Then I do the math on the drive home.
The $10 Sale That Cost Me an Hour
I have absolutely driven half an hour to meet someone in person to make what ends up being ten dollars when all is said and done.
So what did that cost me?
Gas. Time. Packing. The mental effort of coordinating a meetup. None of that is hard work on its own, but it adds up quickly. Especially when I am working from home, the kids are around, and it is the winter holiday season. Everyone is a little more dysregulated. There have been more than a few times where my kids came with me to go meet my “friends” because the plans kept shifting or never fully came together.
That hour of driving could have been spent listing inventory, researching new product, packing orders, sourcing boxes, or honestly just being home with my family. Instead, I spent it in a parking lot completing a transaction that did not move the needle at all.
That one is on me.
When the Discount Ask Comes Immediately
Some of the harder ones are the discount requests that come right out of the gate.
“Hey, if I buy a few boxes, can you do a deal?”
I know what I am offering is a good product. I pay more for shrink-wrapped booster boxes because I want the guarantee that nothing has been tampered with. I want to be confident handing someone a sealed product. So far, no one has ever complained that their box was still sealed when I handed it to them.
But that extra confidence costs money.
Between higher purchase prices, shipping, and import fees, a box that people mentally peg at $75 often has a break-even closer to $90. I list at $100. That leaves roughly ten dollars in actual profit.
So when someone asks for a “deal” or a discount for multiple boxes, what they are really asking is for me to sell below what I paid.
And no, I am not particularly interested in doing that.
What is interesting is how often people are unhappy when I offer what amounts to a 50% discount on my profit. Dropping from $100 to $95. That usually gets a “no thanks” or a quiet ghosting. I once had someone offer to buy my entire Japanese collection. I gave a fair price. He countered with 80%. That one ended pretty quickly.
Technically, yes, I would still be “making money” with the “$5 off” discount. Barely. And that thin margin is what covers future inventory purchases, supplies, mistakes, lost packages, damaged shipments, platform fees, the reality that not everything sells immediately. That small profit margin is what is keeping the business running!
I will happily take a guaranteed $5 profit all day long. I just do not want to feel like I am begging just to stay in business.
I Want People Happy. I Also Want to Stay Open.
This is the tension I constantly live in. Welcome to the world of business, Adam!
At the end of the day, I want people to enjoy buying from me. I want repeat customers. I want collectors to feel good supporting a smaller shop.
But I am learning, slowly and sometimes painfully, that being overly accommodating can quietly hurt the business. This mindset is ingrained in me. I have dealt with it in every business I have run. I would practically give the company away if it helped someone I knew, cared about, or apparently if someone asks for a discount…
That cannot be the default anymore.
The mindset shift I am working on is simple, but not easy. I need to remember that I am not someone clearing out extra product from a closet. I am not negotiating every sale. I am not obligated to match the “what’s your lowest” energy that thrives on marketplace platforms.
I run a store.
That does not mean prices never change. It means they change intentionally, not under pressure. One of the biggest changes I need to make is stopping sales through my personal Facebook account and letting the business account be the storefront. I have never walked into Walmart and tried to haggle down my groceries. I see the price, I check out, and the transaction is done. I want that same clarity for my business.
What Saying No Looks Like for Me Right Now
I still believe I offer value. I am just no longer willing to devalue my time, energy, or product because it is more convenient for someone else.
Discounts exist, but they are structured.
Bulk pricing exists, but it starts where it makes sense.
Shipping incentives make more sense than price cuts.
In-person meetups are rare and deliberate.
Basically, If a deal does not justify the time involved, I need pass.
No long explanations. No visible guilt. Just calm, clear boundaries.
This Is Not About Being Cold
It took me a while to understand this, but saying no does not make me unfriendly. I have been a “yes” person for a long time. Ever since that movie. I loved the idea that saying yes leads to adventure.
This business is an adventure. I just want it to be a sustainable one. Not something I look back on as “that thing I tried once before it imploded because I could not say no.”
I can say yes more often when the business is healthy. I can support collectors better when I am not bleeding margin. I can enjoy this more when I am not resenting every “quick” favor.
I am still learning. I will sometimes say yes when I should not.
But now, I’m hoping that every time I say no and stick to it, the business will feel a little more real and a little more stable.
And honestly, that matters more to me than being liked by everyone on Facebook, all 3 billion of them.